Christian Bumper Stickers Should Be Burned

Here are a few stupid Christian Bumper Stickers...followed by my commentary

1) It’s hard to stumble when you’re on your knees. (Yes, but its easy to clean the toilets)
2) Make your eternal reservations now – ’smoking’ or ‘non-smoking’? (Don't worry about Jesus...just whether or not you smoke)
3) As sure as God puts his children in the furnace, He will be in the furnace with them. (For someone who doesn't know the story of the 3 Hebrew children...God seems like the witch from Hansel and Gretel.
4) God allows “U Turns"! (but NO DOUBLE PARKING!)
5) In the sentence of life, the Devil may be a comma but DO NOT LET him be the PERIOD! (Yes, men and women alike hate the period!)
6) Walmart isn’t the only saving place! (That's right, don't forget BigLots)
7) But St. Peter– what about my civil rights? (Is this reality or the premise for a sitcom?)
8) WARNING: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning! (MAY prevent burning?)
9) Plenty of folks give the Lord credit– few give Him cash! (Well, thats because I get 2% cashback on my card)
10) Good old knee-ology is as good as some theology.(Ya, who dun needs that edjumucation? I just git me some religin and boy howdy, I'm set!!)
11) God made round faces; man makes ‘em long. (OH SNAPS! Take that John Kerry)
12) For all you do, His blood’s for you! (There is nothing more special than relating Jesus' blood to a beer slogan)
13) Be ye fishers of men. You catch them – He will clean them. (God will skin and gut us?)
14) Jesus is returning…resistance is futile (God is the Borg?)
15) My boss is a Jewish carpenter. (Well, mine is a grey-haired American...)
16) Y2K= Yield to the King. (Wow...what was everyone so worried about?)
17) Jesus is my ROCK ‘N I’m on His ROLL. (I have a HIP, and Jesus makes me HOP. I live in the COUNTRY, on the WESTERN side of town. Jesus gives me RYTHYM and I sing the BLUES))
18) Want to avoid burning? Use “Son” block. (Ooooooooh, SPF 777?)
19) Who lit the fuse for the ‘Big Bang’? (I did...SURPRISE!!)
20) You don’t have to dial STAR345 to talk to Jesus. (Jesus carries a cell?)
21) Fear knocked. Faith answered. No one was there. (Fear left a note. It said, "Hi, I came By But there was No Answer. Faith read the note and felt bad. Fear got in his car and drove through White Castle. Faith went back to watching Fear Factor.)
22) The prodigal son was having a bad ‘heir’ day! (Maybe we should read how the story ends???)
23) Remember the banana– when it left the bunch it got skinned. (MY GOD IN HEAVEN!!)
24) May your teenage head banger meet The Ageless Heart Knocker! (No teenager can hear "Knocker" without giggling.)


Ya, these are dumb.