older

When I was a kid, everything seemed huge and neverending. It seemed to take days to travel to a town 20 miles away. My Dad was the tallest man alive (and strongest). It seemed like my 16th birthday would never get here and I would never be able to drive. The world was massive and my life was just beginning. I can remember going to EPCOT at Walt Disney World when I was a kid and thinking that I would be a scientist one day who made cool experiments...the kind that EPCOT would show off. I remember thinking that my life was going to be that of a rock star. I would be famous, and I would be happy.

But that was my youth.

Here I am 29 years removed from the safety of the womb and my umbilical cord, set adrift in the scary open sea of independence. I have a wife, a child, a house, a dog, a job, and debt. But I am strangely happy. I'm not a rock star. I have no scientific research on display at EPCOT. I am not famous (to the world). But I am at ease.

But there is still regret and sadness.

The people I love are getting older. Family members are dying. Joints are getting arthritis. Stamina is reducing. Heroes are retiring. It's bizarre, but its something that everyone must endure. Sadly, it's only going to get worse, and I guess the trick is to learn to deal with it before it nails you to a tree. No, I don't want to get older. No, I don't want to lose family members. No, I don't want things to change. I want to go back and do it all over again and change a bunch of things.

Like what?

More time with family doing silly things.
More time reading the Bible.
More time appreciating the sky on a summer evening.
More ice cream.
Less time in front of the television.
More time holding my little girl.
More time emphasizing the good things in life instead of the bad.
More time laughing with my wife instead of causing her grief.
More time playing music with friends.
Less emphasis on the mundane, and more on the enjoyable.

I would just be a better person and do more to steer people to Jesus.